Dear ECU football,

 
I’m left with a broken heart and I know not what to do.  It’s been three weeks since we last saw each other.  I remember the day.  We were in Raleigh.  We were young and surrounded by hope and excitement.  Many people were talking about us and the world seemed against us but I didn’t care.  All that mattered was that we were there, we were together and we were happy.

I was basking in the moment.  Perhaps I had become consumed by illusions of romantic grandeur and the talks of sugar, rose and fiesta.  All my friends told me we would never work out.  All along I suppose I knew they were right.  But my hope blinded me.  It brewed in me a false expectation that through folly I had convinced myself was truth.

The whole time I knew my judgment to be in error.  The whole time I knew what to expect, but I ignored my inner whispers.  I ignored the constant disappointments of our past experiences together.

But it wasn’t all disappointment.  We had our good moments.  Who could forget Raleigh in ’99 after the hurricane?  I’ll never forget us running through the streets that night.  Then just this year there was that Saturday we made fools of those mountain men here in Greenville.  It was lovely.  It was surreal and the day couldn’t have been more perfect as if there are degrees of perfection anyway.

However, most of our time together left me wanting more.  Each year, I left with only an injured heart.  But like a fat man at an all-you-can-eat buffet, I’d always come back for more.  Year after year after year.

So at the end of each season, I’d try to break things off.  I’d try to avoid you.  I’d keep away for months at a time knowing that seeing you again would mean falling again.  You’d keep away from me too.  That is until the spring when you’d return to seduce me with your little games.

And now I find myself in the same precarious situation I have so many times before.  You’ve let me down yet again.  You offered me a hope of something greater only to snatch it from my grasp.  Only this time it was worse.  It was much worse, but now I can’t think of you any longer.  It hurts too much.  I’m left with pieces.  I’m left with a broken heart and I know not what to do.

Why I still chase you I don’t know.