New England Patriots 52, Washington Redskins 7

The Patriots took care of business setting up what will potentially be the most anticipated matchup in NFL regular season history between the undefeated Colts and Patriots.  It’s the perfect good versus evil matchup with the Bill Belicheat-led Patriots taking on squeaky clean Tony Dungy and Peyton Manning.  But before I lead into next week’s only NFL game, is there any credence to claims that the Patriots ran up the score?

Belichick’s answer when asked about whether his team’s late scoring was unnecessary? “It was 38-0.  It’s fourth down. What you want us to kick a field goal?”  Uhh yeah, that is an option Bill.  The Pats needed that first down up 38-0 in the fourth quarter about as bad as they needed the first down on fourth and 2 up 45-0 on the later in the 4th. 

Given, we’re talking about two teams full of grown men, in which whining is probably a breach of Man Laws, but this is a matter of respect.  Randall Godfrey wasn’t very happy after the game stating to Belichick that he needed to “show some respect for the game.”  Godfrey also indicated that “throwing deep up 35 points” in the fourth quarter shows no respect.  Maybe the rules aren’t all the Patriots lack respect for. 

On another note, Jason Campbell acted like Deebo subbed in at DE for the Patriots, panicking at every given opportunity.  He did not sense pressure well and never took his eyes off of his primary target.  Yes, he played against a stingy defense and probably the best team in the league, but his lack of instincts and confidence in this game has to be concerning to Redskins fans.

Indianapolis Colts 31, Carolina Panthers 7

Meanwhile, in the grassy meadows of the Shire, where the children play, the All-American Colts quietly took care of business against the Carolina Panthers.  Peyton shook off his hangover from a late night Bible Study session with the family the previous night and came alive to throw for 254 yards and two TDs, breaking Johnny Unitas’ team record for career TD passes in the process.

It’s also safe to say the Colts defense has made a 180.  (I had a client say he turned his life around 360 degrees one time to which the counter was, well I guess you haven’t done jack, because that would put you right where you were last time I talked to you)  Not only did they stuff the Panthers’ run game limiting Deshaun Foster to 62 yards on 19 carries, but they frustrated Steve Smith so much, he pulled his best sideline impression of Terrell Owens, screaming at David Carr on the sidelines.  Ballistic sideline behavior has really become the new fad in the past couple of years.

Pittsburgh Steelers 24, Cincinnati Bengals 13

The Bengals haven’t been the same since Kimo von Oelhoffen rolled like a pig in the mud and bulldozed Carson Palmer’s knee.  That year they eliminated the Bengals from the playoffs and last year, their overtime victory eliminated the Bengals from playoff contention.  It’s safe to say the Steelers own the Bengals at this point and both sides know it.

The Bengals defense, surprisingly improved from their horrendous play the past couple of weeks, but that isn’t saying much.  A bigger factor was the Bengals’ inability to get in the end zone, depriving us of yet another Chad Johnson end zone celebration. 

Detroit Lions 16, Chicago Bears 7

Who would have thought that in Week 8 the Bears would be 3-5 after being swept by the 5-2 Detroit Lions?  John Kitnastradamus that’s who.  He’s surely done his part by limiting his turnovers through the first 7 games.   Martz’s balanced offensive attack has put the Lions in the thick of their divisional race.  However, any defense that gives up 56 points to the Philadelphia Eagles isn’t ready for prime time football, so I wouldn’t consider them Super Bowl contenders.

Philadelphia Eagles 23, Minnesota Vikings 16

The one thing I can say about this Eagles team is that the defense comes to play.  The defense which in past years would have given up a Guinness worthy rushing performance against a team like the Vikings managed to hold Adrian “Crowned Prince” Peterson to 70 yards on 20 carries. 

The big story however was the coming out party for “Downtown” Reggie Brown who finally played like a starter with his first 100 yard receiving game of the season. 

Remember these comments where Eagles players were comparing Reggie Brown to a “Young” Marvin Harrison?  The better comparison may be to an “Old as Dirt” Marvin Harrison as their numbers through 7 weeks are equally horrid.  (Harrison, 20 catches 247 yards, 1 TD, Brown, 25 catches, 319 yards, 0 TDs)

Marvin Harrison’s fantasy owners should have been preparing for this for years, if you didn’t then shame on you.  The man is 35 and sometime around that age you either retire or fall off like Billy Ocean. © Phonte Coleman

Jacksonville Jaguars 24, Tampa Bay Buccaneers 23

It comes as no surprise that the Jags won this game without David Garrard.  Although Garrard has yet to throw an INT this season, he is a game managing QB whose primary responsibility is to baby-sit.  Quinn Gray’s A+ performance on the Trent Dilfer scale of game management resulted in a Jags victory against a Bucs team that struggles to score anyway.  

What is surprising is that the Bucs were actually favored in this game. 

San Diego Chargers 35, Houston Texans 10

Chris Chambers’ Chargers debut resulted in a touchdown, but the number one target is still Antonio Gates. 

Although the wildfires in California were the main pre-game story, we also were treated to a coin toss presided over by the Terminator himself, Arnold Schwarzenegger. (who looked pretty worn down) Steroids are bad, mkay?

New Orleans Saints 31, San Francisco 49ers 10

This game marked the return of Alex Smith which meant absolutely nothing in the outcome of this game.  Drew Brees provided a throwback to last year performances going an eye opening 31-39 with 4 TDs. 

Reggie Bush split carries with Aaron Stecker.  I think I’ve covered the Bush dilemna in prior Crackback columns.  Hung jury?

Buffalo Bills 13, New York Jets 3

I don’t know what it is, but outside of two games (Steelers and Patriots) the Bills have either won or gone down to the wire in every single game with one of the most talentless offensive squads in recent memory.   They could easily be 5-2 right now and the darlings of the AFC. 

The Jets meanwhile finally realized they are going absolutely nowhere with Chad Pennington as their QB and have announced that Kellen Clemons is their starter next week. 

New York Giants 13, Miami Dolphins 10

How the NFL managed to schedule the Dolphins in the first regular season NFL game on another continent is beyond me.  They couldn’t have realistically believed before the season that the Dolphins would be in the hunt for anything meaningful this season. 

We all have something to be thankful for following this game and that is the fact that Trent Green was not healthy for this game.  The prospect of Osi Umenyiora and Mike Strahan chasing after Green all game is a scary thought indeed. 

Tennessee Titans 13, Oakland Raiders 9

Vince Young seems to have regressed a bit passing the ball this season, although the Titans are winning games.  Young amassed a grand total of 55 total yards in the win.  The Madden Curse may very well be alive and well.

Cleveland Browns 27, St. Louis Rams 20

Derek Anderson and the Browns offense continues to impress and Braylon Edwards is emerging as one of the best receivers in the league.  Meanwhile the Rams are doing early draft scouting.

Awards:

The Fred Taylor Hot Potato Award Winner:

The Houston Texans are the first team to win this award as the team committed 5 turnovers in the loss to the Chargers.  Matt Schaub worked hard towards bringing the award home with two interceptions before getting knocked out of the game.  His injury gave last week’s winner Sage Rosenfels a shot at an encore performance and Rosenfels did not disappoint in contributing two more interceptions. 

Announcing the BrooklynWHAT! Streetworthy Performance Award:

This award, named in honor of okayplayer.com poster BrooklynWHAT for coming up with the name of my weekly column, goes to the most gangster performance of the week.  Bonus points are awarded for the player’s street credibility and for the number of illegitimate children.  (illegitimate children is properly weighted to prevent Travis Henry from winning the award every week)

The inaugural winner of the award is Lendale White for his 25 car, career high 133 yard performance against the Oakland Raiders.  The numbers are all the more impressive considering the Titans only mustered 26 net passing yards to compliment White’s ground attack.  White gets street credibility bonus points for this training camp incident involving, spitting, pushing, and shoving last year plus his overall complete disregard for keeping himself in game shape. 

The OkaySports MVP Award

Created in honor of the greatest group of uncensored sports experts on the Planet, this award goes to Drew Brees for his laser like precision performance against the 49ers this week. (31-39, 336 yards and 4 TDs)  Bonus points are awarded for carrying Reggie Bush’s half-stepping ass through another week.