New England Patriots 48, Dallas Cowboys 27

I give up.  I just don’t see how this team is going to lose.  The Patriots offense is every bit as imposing as the USS Ronald Reagan and Brady is the captain.  Doubling Moss generally leads to single coverage on Ben Watson, Donte Stallworth, and/or Wes Welker, all tough man-to-man covers.  Not to mention, because of all the passing options, the Patriots offense makes <insert random running name back here> look like a hall of famer.   Just give them the trophy already…happy now?

One thing I did figure out over the weekend is that I really hated the Patriots for winning prior Super Bowls in an ugly fashion.  It’s like the Pistons and the Spurs NBA finals a couple of years ago, no one but the biggest basketball conservative/purist wants to watch that type of series; a battle between two unexciting defensive-minded basketball teams over 7 games.  I didn’t want to see the Patriots win or make it to the Big Dance because no one wants to watch Mike Vrabel catch touchdowns, or Troy Brown, David Patten, Deion Branch and Co., make unimpressive routine catches.  No one wants to see Antoine Smith and Kevin Faulk split carries in a workmanlike fashion. 

This Patriots team is different.  The league hasn’t seen a juggernaut like this since the Emmitt Smith Cowboys or the Joe Montana 49ers.  This is a team with no offensive weaknesses and big play ability that rivals any offense in league history.  (the Randy Moss/Randall Cunningham Vikings come to mind also)  So maybe I should like them?  Well I don’t hate them as much as I did last week, but I still want them to lose.  I’ve still got the “fight the evil empire” thingy going right now. 

Minnesota Vikings 34, Chicago Bears 31

You can’t talk about this game without talking about Adrian Peterson’s stellar performance against the vaunted Bears run defense.  (20 carries, 224 rushing yards, 3 TDs)  This is just as, if not more impressive than the Titans’ trucking of the Jaguars defense in week 1.  Peterson looks like a super stud and it’s too bad that Tavaris Jackson is absolutely terrible, as teams will adjust and put 20 in the box for the rest of the season.  (Chester Taylor also had 22 carries for 83 yards)

I mentioned in this column that Adrian Peterson runs like he has an artificial leg.   I am now not only convinced that his leg is artificial, I am also convinced that it is a bionic limb and that’s why he is so freakishly fast. 

On a side note, why punt to Devin Hester?  I mean really.

Cleveland Browns 41, Miami Dolphins 31

Why does the Browns offense continue to score points like they are the reincarnation of the Marshall Faulk Rams?  I know this is against the Dolphins, but goodness eclipsing 40 points twice and 27 against the Ravens is pretty impressive for the Browns no? 

Derek Anderson, Braylon Edwards and Kellen Winslow led the attack.  Finally the Browns look like their heading in the right direction and maybe Romeo will get the chance to keep this train on the right tracks for another year.

On another note, I’m still baffled by the early season situation that went down with Charlie Frye.  Either Charlie Frye looked absolutely golden during training camp while Anderson was sandbagging hard, or Charlie Frye has naked pictures of Romeo Crennel in a compromising situation with some Browns officials.  Either way, Derek Anderson looks like he’s the real deal and the Browns finally look like a real football team again.

Green Bay Packers 17, Washington Redskins 14

The Redskins have the game pretty much under control and wait, a Charles Woodson sighting!  57 yard fumble return for a TD put the Cheese ahead for good.  What is it about Green Bay karma towards NFC East teams?  This makes two games where the outcome was directly decided by fumbles.  (See Green Bay v. Philadelphia in week one)  Because of the significance of the fumble to the outcome of this game, I think it’s appropriate to award the Fred Taylor Hot Potato Award to none other than Santana Moss this week.  Way to throw the game away!

Kansas City Chiefs 27, Cincinnati Bengals 20

It looks like the Chiefs are determined to undermine Mr. Gibson’s incarnation of the HBO Hard Knocks Curse as they have no business at .500 or tied for the lead in their division. 

Meanwhile Cincinnati’s defense may be the worst in recent memory and Carson Palmer is not taking care of the ball this season. (8 INTs in 5 games would qualify him for the quarterly Hot Potato Award)

Philadelphia Eagles 16, New York Jets 9

I don’t know that I’ve ever been this unexcited about an Eagles victory, albeit, I’ll take a win over a loss any day.  Westbrook continued his stellar season with 20 carries for 120 yards, and Kevin Curtis and Donovan McNabb decided to show up again.  But the biggest story is the first respectable performance from “Downtown” Reggie Brown.  Donovan McNabb and Sheldon Brown compared Reggie Brown to a “young Marvin Harrison” during training camp; however, a “young J.J. Stokes” has been the better comparison through the first 5 games. 

Pass protection was still a slight issue, although 3 sacks pales in comparison to the 12 sacks given up to the Giants two weeks ago.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers 13, Tennessee Titans 10

Titans fans may want to blame this loss on Vince Young’s injury, but anyone who had the privilege to have this exciting game broadcasted in their area (*sarcasm*) knows that Young didn’t play that well when he was in the game.   (1 lost fumble, 0 points, and 1 terrible INT) 

Meanwhile, Jon Gruden and Jeff Garcia keep chugging along, with Earnest Graham as their starting tailback.  Once again, whenever you see Kerry Collins in the game, you can stick a fork in the Titans.

Jacksonville Jaguars 37, Houston Texans 17

David Garrard still has not thrown any interceptions.  He may just be the king of QBs who “manage the game.”   Just as impressive was the Jags running game which has picked up as of late.  Jones-Drew rushed for 125 yards on 12 carries, and Taylor rushed for 90 on 6 carries, with both having a run over 50 yards.  (Taylor a 76 yarder, Jones-Drew a 57 yarder)

The Texans need Andre Johnson back pretty badly.  Without Johnson in the lineup their receiving corps would rival any receiving corps in NFL history in the futility department.  Heck, they probably take a few college teams receivers over their own.  (06’ USC and Michigan come to mind)

Baltimore Ravens 22, St. Louis Rams 3

The Rams have come completely apart at the seams and surprisingly their defense is not the primary reason.  Their offense has been atrocious, averaging only 12.2 points per game and ranked 29^th in the league in yardage per game.  Stephen Jackson and Marc Bulger are out with injuries and even when they played, the offense sputtered.  Top it off with Gus Frerotte throwing 5 picks and it makes it tough to win.  Playing against the beast of a quarterback that is Kyle Boller doesn’t help either. 

Carolina Panthers 25, Arizona Cardinals 10

You can’t be taken seriously if you can’t beat a team that is starting the oldest living human on the face of the earth.  Vinny Testaverde just won’t die.  At 43 years old, he signed with the Panthers last week, starts this week and throws a crucial 65 yard TD to Steve Smith to lead the Panthers over the Cardinals.  Given, five Cardinal turnovers and a quarterback position that’s been decimated by injuries aren’t very helpful either.  Through six games, it’s still pretty difficult to tell who the Cardinals really are.  (I will never forget you Denny Green)

San Diego Chargers 28, Oakland Raiders 14

In Ladainian Tomlinson’s first trademark performance of the year, he busted loose against the Raiders for 198 rushing yards and and 4 TDs.  It seems LT gets up to play the Raiders as over the last 3 games against Oakland he has 438 yards rushing and 7 TDs.

Meanwhile, the more we watch Culpepper in different offenses without Randy Moss, the more it looks like his stellar seasons were largely the result of having Randy Moss to throw too.  Given, that argument could be made for many different quarterbacks, but Culpepper has struggled going on 4 years now.  Time to throw in the towel?

New Orleans Saints 28, Seattle Seahawks 17

Not only did the Saints finally get off the snide, but Reggie Bush almost had 100 yards rushing on 19 carries.  (97 yards)  Impressive, but nonetheless the Saints still don’t trust him as a short yardage option as on multiple 3^rd and short situations, they called Aaron Stecker’s number over Bush.  Aaron Stecker?

Really? 

New York Giants 31, Atlanta Falcons 10

Osi Umenyiora did not have a sack, but he still leads the league in sacks.   He should probably start saving for Rolexes for Donovan McNabb, Winston Justice, Andy Reid and the rest of the Eagles offensive line.